Annual Report 2026
Prepared under Modesty Standard v1.0, presented to a board that did not achieve quorum, independently reviewed by people we know, and filed nowhere.
A word from the appeal
It has been a full year. Sister Agnes remains fully clothed. Amira remains fully clothed. Rivka remains fully clothed and her representation has grown by one additional aunt. Willow has been asked four times to put a shirt on.
Financial position
| Total raised since inception | $47.00 |
|---|---|
| Lowest tier across all four appeals | $60.00 |
| Tiers reached | None |
| Photographs produced | None |
| Photographs planned | None |
| Shortfall against combined goals | $146,500,293.00 |
Restricted funds
All contributions are notionally restricted to the appeal selected by the donor. The restriction follows the garment, not the faith, and may not be transferred between a veil, cardigan, habit, shirt, coat, or other textile instrument without written approval from the wearer and, where applicable, Sheldon.
| Sister Agnes Restricted Garment Adjustment Fund | No milestone reached |
|---|---|
| Amira Restricted Textile Adjustment Fund | No milestone reached |
| Rivka Restricted Wardrobe Negotiation Fund | Under discussion |
| Willow Reverse Endowment for Re-Clothing | $293 deficit |
Measured impact
Modesty Standard v1.0
A milestone is recognized only when the relevant garment event has occurred, the campaign threshold has cleared, and the event has been observed by two disinterested witnesses, one textile professional, and a maternal aunt. Photographic evidence is neither required nor expected, which is fortunate because none exists.
Surface-area impact is recorded to two decimal places. Sleeve movement is measured from the cuff. Veil adjustment is measured in millimetres. Renegotiation is measured in billable hours. Re-clothing is accounted for as negative disrobement.
Independent assurance statement
We examined the meters, the tier schedule, and the available evidence. The displayed meter fill has a minimum height of 0.6% for legibility; the adjacent numerical percentage does not. In our opinion, the site fairly presents, in all materially ridiculous respects, how little has happened.
Messrs. Nobody, Anybody & Sheldon
Unappointed independent examiners
Governance
The Board met once during the period. No directors attended. The meeting was therefore brief, impeccably conflict-free, and unable to approve these accounts. The Garment Ethics Committee referred every proposed milestone back to management pending clarification of what management is.
Allocation of funds
Administrative overhead is nil, as nobody is administered. Fundraising costs are nil, as no fundraising has occurred beyond the existence of this website.
Outlook
The Board anticipates no material change in the year ahead. Every woman on this website is expected to remain fully clothed for its entire duration, and the meters are expected to remain where they are.
The Willow Reverse Endowment remains the principal threat to the going-concern basis. Unless a further $293 is secured, the organization cannot guarantee the acquisition of a second coat, or the continued cooperation of the first.
The Board has no further comment.